Your first year of marriage happens to be a celebration itself. Everything is very special and the excitement is always high. But when it is about festivals after marriage well, they have a very different level of excitement altogether. You feel all jittery as you are the newlyweds and there are a lot of expectation from you. Well, let me tell you an incident so that you understand exactly what happens.
Lastly, Diwali was no normal festival at our home as my brother had got married that year and it would be there first Diwali after marriage. Everyone was very excited as it is a custom in our family that the new bride must make something sweet for everyone on the day of the festival. We all were excited to know what our new sister in law is planning to make. All day she had a smile on her face and did exactly what she was expected to do. But at night when I asked her about her feelings she told me that she was very nervous as all the eyes were on her and she is no doubt very happy and excited but was also feeling jittery.
I was confused so, on cross-questioning her about it I realized that even the festival of light that is said to bring happiness and hope in our lives can take away the feeling of nervousness as you know that it is your first festival and your family has a lot of expectation from you and you must succeed so, practically it is a lot of pressure on the newlyweds but the excitement and happiness does minimize it a bit as it did for my sister in law. Everything that happened that day raised a question in my mind Why first Diwali after marriage is always special?
When I asked my mother about it she told me something very different. She told me that when she got married her first festival after marriage was Durga puja which she had to spend with her in-laws and her experience was something similar as my sister in law. She was happily nervous was her exact words as being a Bengali there were a lot of fun elements that came along but the challenge was to satisfy all the eyes that were on her. Everyone who was observing her wanted to know about her upbringing and she could not go wrong anywhere as she was representing not only her parents but now also her new family.
But Diwali was something that she had to spend away from family with just my dad. Well, as per her it was more challenging because now she had to follow all the customs of the day alone and make sure to do something special for dad so, that even he can feel special on that day. Festival of light brings with itself a lot of feelings but if it is your first Diwali after marriage then it becomes the tad more special. But which this also come to a lot of responsibility is the thing that I understood from what my mother and sister in law told me. You are responsible for the well being of the family, and for taking care of the family customs of the day.
Every family has very different customs and earlier you would get to know about them after you got married. It is not that if you belong to the Kayastha community and have got married within the community then you would follow the same customs. This is not true as every family has a very different rule. Like in our family the new bride must make something sweet on the day of Diwali similarly at my mother’s parental home it is to perform Laxmi puja. You might say that this is very common.
Well, let me tell you then that I am a Bengali and on this day, we are too busy with the Kali puja but that does not mean that if Laxmi puja on this day is a custom you would not do so. After marriage, it becomes your duty to take care of all these little things. Nowadays a lot of things are changing as people are opting for Matrimonial sites like Kayastha matrimonial sites to find their life partner and while communicating they are also informing each other about the custom on festival days at their family. So, it is true that nervousness of not knowing is missing but you are still nervous because you know people are watching you and are ready to judge you.
There is a lot that a newlywed bride feels that is disguised in her excitement. This excitement is both joyful and nervous at the same time. It is joyful because the first Diwali always holds more value for the newlywed and nervous because she has the duty of impressing her in-laws. Whatever may be the reason, the first Diwali that you spend with your husband and in-laws would always be cherished by you all your life.
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