Most of the time I find myself in situations where I am giving my friends advice about love and relationship and the worst part about these situations are that you are on the spot and there are some people asking you questions like what was your checklist to select your soul mate. Love and relationship are not any job interview that you have to check off a checklist. I always feel the perfect person is the one who is not just perfect on paper but can relate with you and your bond with him or her is perfect.
Indian Matchmaking sites have made it easy for people to find their potential match within their community that too in just a few clicks. Even for arrange marriages I have seen people taking pride in their choice of their partner. They take pride in reading people and understanding them so that they can take their decision. While the fact is that we humans are emotional decision makers and we fool ourselves by thinking those decisions to be the rational ones. When you are meeting someone in an arranged marriage setup there are few things you need to know and even tell the person before you can move on to getting married.
In an arranged marriage setting every parent has a lot of questions that they want to ask the potential groom and similarly even the groom’s parents have a list of questions for the potential bride but the most important thing that the Indian society forgets that it is not only a bond of two families but also two people and it is them who have to spend their lives together so, it is very important that you ask each other some essential questions that would help you make your decision.
Here Are Some Must Ask Questions In An Arranged Marriage Setup:
Always remember that this question can raise a lot of red flags. I have seen many men planning to get married when they are not sure about their long-term goals. So always ask what his long-term goals are because you have the right to know that the person you are thinking of marrying is a hard worker or does he lazy around the house while you do all the hard work from taking care of the family to keeping up with your office work.
Passions And Interests:
It is a very common myth that the couple should have very similar interests to be perfect for each other but that fact is whether your potential partner is open to new experiences and if he or she is ready to explore new things that life throws at them. They may not have same interests but if they are willing to try something new that interests their partner then you are lucky to have found such a person. It is very difficult to find someone who would accept you the way you are so if you get that do not waste too much time.
Some behavioral characteristics of a person are shaped from their childhood and by the things that they see around them. If a guy grows up seeing his father neglecting his mother’s wishes, then that is what he would learn as well. So, always ask him if he is ready for all the compromises and sacrifices. Always meet your potential partner with their friend’s one to know what his or her nature with them. This would help you to take the right decision about marrying him or her.
Ask How They Will Take Care Of Problems In A Relationship:
With time small problems are bound to arise in any relationship so it is very important to know whether he or she will throw the towel at the first sign of a problem or will they stay calm and hear out the problem and then try to solve it. This is one of the most important questions that you must ask as it is about your future with that person.
If They Are Ready For This Commitment:
Marriage is the biggest commitment one makes in their life and it is very essential that you ask your potential partner whether he or she is ready to make this commitment. As I feel that one should be mentally prepared for after marriage it is a new part of their life and they need to think not just about themselves while deciding something but rather they need to think about each other. So, it is important that you clarify whether your potential partner has any second thoughts or not.
These questions will help you to know your partner better so that you can take a decision of marriage. These questions are not meant for you to judge him or her as you can never know about a person at the very first meet.
As Mother Teresa said, “If you judge people you have no time to love them”.
So, make sure while asking these questions you are not judging them but just trying to understand them.