In India, after marriage, the girl must move in with her in-laws. This has been the custom for ages. I have heard my mother saying that when she got married and came to stay with my father and his mother she was scared that whether she would be accepted or not.She had also seen a lot of fights between her mother and her grandmother all her childhood and had also heard that this is a very normal scenario of any household where the daughter in law and her mother in law lives together.
My mother always said that this was the very thing she feared but she found out that she was lucky as her mother in law accepted her very lovingly and treated her like a daughter and not daughter in law. It is a fact that the husband and the wife together bind a family. But recently I read a study that usually the husband has a good bonding with his wife’s family but his wife’s bonding with his family is usually complicated. The reason usually centers around the mother in law as it takes time for both to accept the fact that they must share the person whom they both love so dearly.
A girl always loves her mother very dearly and has a great bond with her but when it is about the mother in law the relationship gets complicated. I used to always wonder how can this be possible as she is the mother of the man you love, and you married. But my mother told me that daughter in law and the mother in law are usually like two parallel river who can see each other but hardly meet. This is because they both love the same man and is insecure. But if you want your marriage to be a happy one you must have built a bonding with your mother in law. Because if both do not like each other then there would be frequent conflicts and arguments in the house which would affect your marriage.
Once such conflicts start you expect that your husband supports you and his mother expects him to support her but the catch here is that both of you forget in your fight that he cannot take one side as he loves both of you equally and that is why he starts staying out late and avoiding such conflicts completely well, this is how relationship with in laws affects the marriage. This is just the first step slowly your husband will get tired of all the fights.
Well, a research even says that this when the husbands start thinking about divorce. Nowadays the trend is changing but it is slow, as most parents these days depend on the Indian matchmaking sites to find a suitable match the would-be bride gets to meet with their mother in law and they even gel up so that there are no conflicts after the marriage.
The new brides these days are becoming smarter as they make sure that their mother in law knows that she loves her son and she would not take her place in her son’s life ever. She also makes sure that she knows exactly what her mother in law expects of her. This trick keeps the relationship smooth. If you are living away from your in-laws, you are lucky but when you go home make sure you do not indulge in any kind of conflict that would affect your marriage. Conflicts at home are not good for anyone as it decreases the peace and increases the stress and tension in the environment.
But I know about couples who cannot handle these conflicts and they end up with divorce. I always felt divorce is a kind of escapism from a problem, not a solution. It is not that you always stay put and try to work on the problem when your husband or his mother is not co-operating at all. If this the case, then it is always better to opt for divorce but if you have your husband’s support then it is worth the try. Relation of marriage should not be so weak that only conflicts with the mother in law can break them.
There are also cases when a couple gets divorced after having kids, well, in that case, it has not only affected your marriage but also your child’s future. But if you are a single parent but want to give a second chance to marriage then you can easily take the help of divorce matrimonial sites. But as per my suggestion do not allow your relationship to go this far handle it before it gets worse because there is nothing that cannot be taken care of.